Obsession
by Siriusly Lovely
Summary: Remus Lupin's life has been torn apart. No matter how far he runs or how long he waits it doesn't pass. Hermione Granger is one determined young witch, unfortunately for our favorite werewolf. AU.
1. Prologue Just a Knock on the Door

**Prologue; A Knock At the Door**

[On a mournful day in the nineteen nineties Remus Lupin was in his office at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry packing up his things. It wasn't that he had been sacked, he just recognized the strain he had put on the school and the headmaster by taking the job there. Now that the secret that he was a werewolf was out it was only right that he should resign and allow them the benefit of not having to deal with angry parents and liability suits on his behalf.

It's true, he knew, that Dumbledore would have readily done whatever necessary for him to stay on as a professor, and he would have loved to, but he couldn't do that to the old man. Albus had already done so much for him in his lifetime, Remus had no right to ask him to keep making sacrifices for his sake. And so he was in his dim office, almost finished packing up his things into one small suitcase and a chest that stood near his desk. That was when the first knock came at his door.

It was a soft sound, barely audible and had he not been immersed in silence previously and had his senses not been heightened because of his…condition…he probably wouldn't have heard it at all. Things probably would have been better that way, none of the complications would have come then. But he'd heard it and he'd thought nothing of it. "Come in." He'd called, unaware that admitting the person on the other side of the door entrance into his life would change the course of his fate, complicate his existence until his death. Looking up from the suitcase he had just snapped shut, he watched as the door opened and there stood Hermione Granger, the brightest young witch of her generation.

And from then on his life was never the same.


	2. An Innocent Crush

**An Innocent Crush**

"May I come in for a moment, sir?" The way she spoke even put her far in front of every other person in her year. You could tell by the way she annunciated her word and the way she said them that mentally her age was probably well into her thirties. She was a middle aged woman trapped in the body of a thirteen year old girl with overly large front teeth. Remus had no reason to deny her entry, after all she and him had experienced quite an ordeal the night before and if his source wasn't mistaken she'd had a hand in making sure his estranged best friend, whom he had recently been reunited with, did not receive the Dementor's Kiss. He owed her a lot.

Smiling, Remus beckoned his student in. "Of course, Miss Granger, of course you're welcome to come in. I'm sorry I can't be a better host but I'm actually on my way out momentarily." He watched several emotions play across her face as he spoke and she peered around the room. At first she seemed nervous, apprehensive even. But as she stepped through the doorway a wave of panic seemed to cross over her features and his smile became sad. Of course he'd expected this reaction from his three favorite students. Especially after last night, he had expected them to be put out by the fact he was leaving. Deciding he owed her an explanation w hen her eyes found his in a very confused panic look, he took a seat behind his now empty desk.

But he wasn't given the chance to explain because as soon as he sat down the teenager who had previously been loitering near the doorway of his office took several hasty steps towards his desk. "You're leaving? After everything that's happened you're just going to go? I thought you were trying to teach us not to be scared by this kind of thing, to rise above it." Remus was surprised to see tears welling up in her eyes but then again, he told himself, women always were known to be over emotional and Hermione Granger, although still a child and smart for her age wasn't any different. Even so, it was hard to watch her like this. Remus had never been good with emotional women and he wasn't really sure how to handle this and so when he did speak he chose his words carefully.

"Yes I'm leaving. It's what's best for everyone. I don't want to cause trouble for Dumbledore." He paused to consider her other objection to his leaving, how he had been in charge of teaching them not to fear the dark arts and not to be afraid of evil people. She was right, he was running away from his problems, and he deserved her berating. But he couldn't help but be a little bit bitter that she was lashing out at him like this. They had no idea what this was like for him. How could they? They were only children and he had been alive for nearly twenty years before they were even born. How could they know what it was like to have your entire perfect world at school torn apart.

He tried to think, for a moment, of how he might go about explaining to her what it was like to have lived through what he lived through. Four best friends, the very best of friends, the kind that would give up anything for one another, even risk being arrested for being unlicensed animagus so that their werewolf friend was more comfortable. And then you find out that one of those best friends led the Dark Lord to the hide out of another one which led to the death of that best friend. And then the perpetrator killed another friend of yours…but years later you find out that was a lie and that it was really the second best friend that got killed's fault and….

Remus couldn't even make sense of his thoughts anymore, they were getting muddled and turned around and so he was perfectly sure that if he tried to voice them to Hermione she would get confused and frustrated. There was no way she would understand anyways. At thirteen, no matter how many books she had read or how much her and her friends had been through there was absolutely no way she would understand what was going on in his mind right now. And so he shook his head slowly before continuing on his thought. "You're right Hermione, I'm running away, but it's for the sake of everyone else. You and your friends…you're so brave. But you'll never know the burden I live with each day. And I know what it does to those around me, especially Dumbledore." It looked like she was going to burst out at him again, probably with another remark about how he was running away and being a hypocrite which he already knew, so he cut her off. "It's not goodbye, it won't be forever. I promise you'll see me before."

That phrase, however, seemed to have been the wrong choice because it seemed to set her off. Her face turned red and the tears spilled over and Remus was at a loss of what to say to her to calm her down. Lucky for him, or so he thought before she actually finished her thought, he didn't have to say anything because she burst out before her had a chance. "That's not good enough! I don't care if it's not forever, I don't want you to leave. I'll—I'll miss you…" She looked down at that point, not seeming to be able to continue looking at him. Remus could still see the tiny tears falling down her face and all of a sudden he felt very fatherly. After all, he was after all old enough to be her father.

Standing up he carefully hugged her. "I'll miss you too, Hermione." At first when he touched her she seemed stiff, rigid under his touch, and Remus understood she probably hadn't been expecting him t o do that. After all, he hadn't made the decision to until he did. But then, she seemed to melt into the hug and wrapped her own tiny arms around him returning the hug. She seemed to calm down at that point, her breathing slowing down and her head leaning into his chest. And so Remus thought he must have finally done something right. Smiling slightly he patted the top of her head lightly where it rested against him. "I'll miss all of you."

Oh no, that was the wrong thing to say again. The little girl in his arms gave out a frustrated groan and threw him away from her. The tears were starting again and Remus was truly at a loss. It seemed whatever he did it set her off and didn't help. Maybe this was why he had never bothered dating much, besides the obvious reason he had that made him fear he'd eat a lady friend in her sleep if given the chance. Maybe the underlying reason he didn't date was because he couldn't understand women. That was something to ponder later on about he'd dealt with the problem at hand. Hermione's eyes were narrowed and glaring at him accusingly but they softened after a moment and she started pacing.

Very confused, Remus took a seat on the side of his desk just watching her, not daring to speak again for fear of sending her into another fit. After a few moments she stoped very abruptly and looked at him. Her eyes weren't watering anymore, she seemed to have stopped crying which made Remus happy that he wouldn't have to deal with that obstacle again. He hadn't been expecting it when she started speaking so it started him a bit. "Professor. Why do you think I knew that you were a werewolf?"

Remus chuckled and smiled at her. Hermione Granger, always fishing for a compliment even when she had moments before been throwing a fit about him quitting his job. It was a strange world. "Well, of course it's because you're the smartest girl in your class and you picked up on the indicators."

Surprised to hear her sigh, Remus watched as she started pacing again. "You're wrong." Was all she said for the moment.

"Am I?" He was confused but not that much. She probably had a better way of putting it, or wanted to explain her research to him as though it were a lesson or a report. He would let her. He should really be going but she seemed upset enough that he wanted to give her an opportunity to do whatever it was she needed to do to be okay with him leaving.

She stopped walking again and looked at him, taking a step forward again. "Yes. You're wrong."

Remus smiled and shrugged. "Tell me why then."

The sequence that followed would remain forever engrained in Remus John Lupin's memory. No matter how many times he tried to forget it or reason with himself that it wasn't something worth holding on to it haunted him. Even in his dreams he couldn't help replaying the scene again and again in his mind.

"I'm fascinated by you." She'd taken another step towards him

He seemed to think he understood her now. He was like a specimen in her muggle science class, something unknown. A werewolf, something she'd grown up thinking was a myth. "Well of course you would be. It's natural to be curious about someone like me. Harry and Ron probably have a few questions about what I am they'd like to ask me too."

This seemed to upset her again but thankfully it didn't look like she was going to cry again. "Not like Ron and Harry, Professor. No. I'm fascinated by you."

Another step and Remus was still trying to understand.

"I wanted to know everything I could about you."

Maybe she just thought herself on the same level as teachers and wanted to know how they lived.

"I watched you."

Well that's a bit odd but it wasn't that odd. He wasn't sure what she was so bothered about.

"You fascinate me, Remus."

Another step. The way she was looking at him and the way his first name slipped off her tongue was making Remus very uncomfortable but he didn't want to upset her so he just let her go.

She didn't say anything for a little while and then she took another step. She was only a foot away from where he was sitting on the desk now. Still the look in her eyes was boring into him but he wouldn't look away, afraid of what she was going to do. He voice had become much quieter.

"I just want…I [i]need[/i]….and I'm not sure why yet…but I [i]need[/i] to be close to you."

Finally Remus was able to break concentration on her when her tiny hand seemed to materialize on a place on his thigh that was far higher than anyone should be touching let alone a student of her age, let alone a student at all. Immediately jumping up he back away from her putting up his hands as a barrier between them. "Miss Granger, I think it's time for you to leave."

She started crying again but he didn't care. It finally hit him what she was doing here and he thought she was insane. This little thirteen year old girl in front of him who was supposed to be the smartest of her generation was absolutely insane and she needed to get him out of his office before she did or said something she would regret. When she spoke again he could hear the wetness of her tears and the pleading of her voice. "But don't you understand? Why can't you understand?! I was the only one to figure it out! I knew because I love you! I love you even though you're a werewolf, and I figured that part out on my own and it didn't matter. Why can't you understand!" She stomped her foot in a very juvenile fashion and Remus moved behind his desk, picking his suitcase up.

"Hermione, you're so young. At your age it's natural for you to develop a…crush…on someone, but I would suggest you focus on someone your own age. I'm far too old for you. It's inappropriate for you to feel for me that way." That only proved to upset her more but Remus wasn't looking at her anymore.

"I don't want anyone my own age, Remus. It's not a crush! It's not! I love you!" She was trying everything she could to get him to look at her but he just stood behind his desk with his suitcase, looking at the door waiting for her to finish her ranting. But then she stopped and looked at him. "You didn't say how you feel. You didn't say you didn't feel it. You just said you're too old and I'm too young."

This, finally, was what made Remus look at her. In his mind he realized what she was insinuating and he needed to tell her she was wrong before she got it into her head that he had inappropriate feelings for her. She was his student for merlin's sake, the best friend of his best friends thirteen year old son. How could she possibly…But she was already out the door before he could think of how to say it. He'd never been very good with expressing himself verbally in stressful situations. But then again this was just a school time crush. He walked to the door and saw her back moving swiftly down the corridor. For a moment he thought about going after her but he heard a noise in the other direction and thought it best just to return to his office. Turning his back on the hallway he clicked the door shut just as Harry Potter walked down the corridor and knocked on his door. His voice more wary this time, from within Remus Lupin was heard saying "Come in"


End file.
